Planet Bruce's Weblog

Garbage (Thoughts IV)

I have a hard time walking around my neighborhood without carrying a trash bag to pick up the occasional piece of garbage in the street. I long for the days of pop-tops that you could wear as a ring. So much more interesting than the lame tabs that break off modern soda cans. Usually it is a cigarette butt from the lawn maintenance crews and Russian maids. But there are plenty of silver foil gum wrappers and pieces of string trimmer line in a rainbow of colors--green, red, and orange. The bottles and cans aren't trash, just recycling that made a break for it to avoid being manhandled by the collectors.

In spring, after the snow melts, there is a veritable smorgasbord (orgasbord) of trash in the gutters. I'm simultaneously repulsed and excited. My kids are equally obsessed, competing to see whose trash bag weighs more. My son collects the bottlecaps. Do the neighbors think we're wierd? Helpful? Fastidious? Critical? Neighborly? Maybe I'll adopt a highway then neglect it. Earth Day was such a letdown. Everyone picks up trash on Earth Day.

Head First Girl (Thoughts III)

I have just one question about the Head First Girl.
What does she do second?

Floss (Thoughts II)

I got a piece of dental floss and then went to check email. The floss just hung in my mouth. After a minute or so, I noticed the mint flavor of the floss stinging my lips. Am I that forgetful? Would I use floss if it wasn't minty? Am I that superficial?

The Staple (Thoughts I)

I threw a staple at the garbage can in my office. I heard it bounce off the metal of the can's rim and jingle against the wood floor, so I knew I missed. I walked over to pick it up. I found it, but how do I know it is the same staple? They all look the same.